September 15, 2006

The article "Motherhood versus patienthood: a conflict of identities" which appeared in the Journal of Medical Ethics in June 2006 moved me to make a personal commentary. The author successfully illustrated that cancer can take such control over a person's life that the new identity as a patient can conflict with previously defined roles. My diagnosis of Hodgkin's lymphoma in 2001 generated multiple interpersonal struggles. Survival meant juggling my roles as a health care provider, parent, and a patient. The sudden illness caused substantial interruption in other identities framed by factors such as education, career, religion, and ethnicity.

I hope that my story will benefit someone in the future or comfort those who are experiencing similar conflicts of identity. Cancer is something that we all might face at some point in our lives. The diagnosis of cancer brings great devastation, stagnation, fear, identity conflicts, and turmoil within the family structure of all who are affected. When I learned of my cancer diagnosis, I went through an immediate state of shock and disbelief. I found myself assuming the identity of patient instead of physician or mother -- the two identities to which I had been most accustomed.

I awaited the results of a lymph node biopsy and secretly underwent necessary diagnostic testing for cancer staging. Lynette the physician knew that the biopsy result for a left supraclavicular node, painless and rapidly growing over a three week period would not be good news. My life was changing so rapidly and spinning out of control that I felt as though I were having an out-of-body experience. Stability for my three daughters was my principal priority. I fought to achieve the goal of healthy survivorship by any means necessary.

After extensive research I underwent a combination of conventional treatments and holistic measures including dietary alterations and daily juicing. Most importantly, I relied on prayer and faith in God. I began treatments at my medical center believing that I would be well cared for and treated respectfully. My chemotherapy sessions and office visits were exhausting, frustrating and dehumanizing. This culminated in utter dismay at the medical community in the institution in which I had formerly taken such pride. Because patients were treated with such blatant disrespect, my displeasure, total dissatisfaction, and complete embarrassment led me to seek health care in another medical center.

Fortunately I received the neutral, compassionate and effective care required, enabling me to share my story with you. Life threatening illness should not dictate that all previous identities must be abandoned.

(1) LaTour K. (2006) Recurrences over two decades have given Dr. Wendy Harpham a lot to say about surviving cancer. CURE, J,42-49, Retrieved Sept 14, 2006, from www.curetoday.com