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A day in the life of the guy in bed 2
  1. Alan L Kaplan
  1. Correspondence to Dr Alan L Kaplan, Department of Urology, David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA, 10833 Le Conte Avenue, Box 951738, Los Angeles, CA 90095-1738, USA; alkaplan{at}

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Phlebotomy: 4:00 Check the ID band, confirm the name. No I didn't take someone else's ID band, it's me. Left antecubital fossa. Just a pinch. Wiggle the needle, wiggle. No flash. Right arm. Exsanguination begins. Drifting back to sleep.

Medical student: 4:45 I know, I know, you're the medical student. Yes my dear, you can listen to my lungs. No, I don't have any chest pain or shortness of breath. Sure, you can do a neurologic exam… even though the surgery was on my bladder.

Intern: 5:15 Papers shuffle. The list! Don't drop the beloved list! Yes, …

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  • Competing interests None.

  • Provenance and peer review Not commissioned; internally peer reviewed.