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Beautiful blessing
  1. Victoria Ann Ribbons
  1. Correspondence to Victoria Ann Ribbons, Knowledge Spa, Royal Cornwall Hospital, Truro, Cornwall TR1 2BX, UK; victoria.ribbons{at}

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I am so happy. Blooming they call it.

We worry about you -

mummy must still take her tablets.

To make her better, to keep us safe.

We stare at you on the screen,

Our bouncing bean. Our precious little girl.

I do not know why but sadness encompasses me

It drowns me, it steals my bloom.

One minute you're there in my belly

I know you're there, constantly jabbing, reminding me

I don't quite know what I think of you but

You can't come out yet, you're too small -

Everywhere is in pain, all over, all-consuming pain

My head aches, my body hurts, you're killing me.

My body bulges.

I want you out, I want it over. Hurry up.

I am laid out on my back. White. Sterile smell.

Tugging, pulling, fighting. Talking.

You are torn out of me 3 months too early

I glimpse you, you are rushed away.

You live in a box, I don't see you for 3 days

Everyone else does.

You're beautiful, I'm told, a real fighter.

I didn't want you out, I didn't want it over. It's too …

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  • Competing interests None.

  • Provenance and peer review Not commissioned; internally peer reviewed.